Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Flightplan (Spoilers!)

If you haven't seen it and don't want it spoiled, please don't read.

Extortion plot revolves around murdering Jody Foster's husband, kidnapping her daughter, and framing Jody for a hijacking attempt. What could possibly go wrong?
  • If Jody decides to bury her husband in Berlin, or have him cremated, the whole thing falls apart.
  • If anybody actually notices Jody's daughter on the plane (or getting on the plane), the whole thing falls apart. (Thank goodness they were the very, very first to board, minutes ahead of anybody else -- and thank goodness neither the gate attendant nor the stewardess at the cabin door noticed the small child with the woman boarding during the "parents with small children" pre-boarding window, 'cuz what airline professional would have looked for a small child under such circumstances?)
  • If the perps are unable to make the daughter disappear early enough in the flight to allow for the "crazy lady" scenario to play out (and thus make the fake hijacking plot credible), the whole thing falls apart.
  • If Jody and daughter don't move to an empty row (again, without anyone seeing the little girl), there's no realistic opportunity for the disappearance, and the whole thing falls apart.
  • If Jody doesn't fall asleep, the whole thing falls apart.
  • If anybody sees the perps drugging Jody's daughter and stuffing her into a food cart, the whole thing falls apart.
  • If anybody actually does a complete search of the avionics bay (instead of having one of the perps do it), the whole thing falls apart.
  • If Jody doesn't get into the cargo hold alone (to open the casket), the whole thing falls apart.
  • If Jody doesn't open her husband's casket (or closes it afterwards), the whole thing falls apart.
  • If the captain doesn't take the air marshall's word that Jody (who has been demanding nothing but the total attention of the crew for hours) suddenly doesn't want to talk to any crewmembers or she'll blow up the plane, the whole thing falls apart.
I'm sure I've missed about seventeen other opportunities for the extortion plot to explode like, well, like the front end of the airplane at the end of the film. And yet, amazingly, despite all common sense, it almost succeeds.

Other points:
  • Why must there be such a convoluted plot to get explosives aboard, when the bombs and detonator take up the space of three packs of Marlboros? Couldn't the air marshall just walk on board with them in his pocket or carry-on, given that he's obviously not going through a metal detector or explosives sniffer with two guns on him?
  • How does Jody, an aircraft propulsion engineer, know the other systems of the plane so intimately as to be able to break into the restricted areas, hotwire the emergency oxygen system, etc.?
Dumbest. Thriller. Ever. On the Klund scale, I give it a 32.

Labels:

posted by MeanMrMustard @ 4:26 PM