Saturday, June 10, 2006

Spermicidal Tendencies

So, a few weekends back, my friend Paul (father of Emma's friend Claire) invited me and Emma to join him and Claire on a trip to the Science Museum. Since Kristi was working and we were looking for something to do, it seemed ideal. Plus, we're members, so admission was free. And Paul was driving. And Paul wanted to take Claire to see "The Human Body" at the museum's Omnitheatre, and admission to that would be free for members too. You really can't do much better, can you?

So. The movie was fun and educational -- x-ray-like images of a boy riding a bicycle, thermograph-like images of heat dissipating from a person after exercise, etc. Good CGI graphics, and informative.

And then ... the sperm.

I had no idea this was coming (pardon the expression), and neither did Paul. They didn't show us how the sperm got into the woman's body -- just the swim up the Fallopian tube to the egg. But the sperm were rendered with every bit of colorful, attention-grabbing CGI goodness as the rest of the film. And they swam to the strains of Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On," which was, you know, funny and memorable -- even for an 8-year-old.

Neither Emma nor Claire asked any questions after we left the movie, and I figured we'd dodged a bullet. Naturally, I figured wrong.

It seems that one of Emma's classmates, "S", also saw the movie. The two of them talked about the movie, and decided that sperm were cool -- cool enough that they each started an illustrated "science journal" about sperm (Emma's features a glow-in-the-dark sperm on the cover). The focus of their scientific inquiry: how do the sperm get into the woman's body?

This is exactly what you want your second-grader thinking about. I can't wait for next year's science fair.

All of this has caused Kristi no small amount of angst. She's intent on not letting Emma grow up too fast, which is challenging enough at the most sperm-free of times. And while not answering the question for now is certainly doable, "S"''s mom is planning on giving her The Talk, and once "S" knows she's certain to share it with Emma, her sperm study partner -- who is likely to share it with Elli and Meghan and Claire, none of whose mothers thinks her little girl is ready for the information.

posted by MeanMrMustard @ 6:42 PM